A lot of bride and grooms find themselves asking the exact same question, “Should I do a first look?” Recently I had the opportunity to talk with over 20 different brides about their thoughts on first looks. Several of the brides who took the time to chat with me, were not KGP brides, but they’ve all given me permission to include their name and advice/thoughts on why you should do a first look. I will actually start with my thoughts on doing a first look, but first, let me take my photographer hat off and put my bride hat on.
Before I was a full time wedding photographer, I was a bride. Over seven years ago, John and I got married and we did not do a first look. *GASP* I know I know, but let me explain why we didn’t, and then elaborate on WHY I wish we had. John and I got married on October 22nd, 2011. It was the our five year anniversary (the exact day) and both John and I had waited a LONG time for that day. We faced what I like to call “Romeo and Juliet” trials early on in our relationship, and our wedding day felt like what I would imagine crossing a finish line in a marathon would be like. I’m sure our wedding photographer warned me about how late in the day our ceremony was, and as you know, those October days aren’t as long as the summer days are. No one, not even Taylor Swift herself could have talked me into a first look with John. I wanted to see his face as I walked towards him down the aisle. His face did NOT disappoint, trust me, BUT after photographing over 200 weddings, I know his face would have been like that during a private first look, and most likely once again during the ceremony.
If your ONLY reason for not wanting to do a first look is because you’re concerned you won’t get a reaction from your bride or groom during the ceremony, you may want to reconsider. Don’t believe me? That’s fine, take a look at the following KGP couples who did a first look, had amazing reactions, and THEN STILL reacted during the ceremony:
Ashley + Drew’s First Look:
Ashley and Drew’s reaction during the ceremony:
Karlie + Mark’s First Look:
Mark’s reaction during their ceremony:
Stephanie + Radley’s First Look:
Stephaine + Radley’s reaction during their ceremony:
Hailey + Morgan’s First Look:
Morgan’s reaction during the ceremony:
“Ok, Kelly, we get it. Some bride and grooms react during the first look AND during the ceremony. HOW ELSE DOES A FIRST LOOK BENEFIT US AS A COUPLE?” I am so glad you asked:
- 1. Something I never thought of as a bride, that is so evident now- I was only with John for about four hours on our wedding day. I spent over 60% of my day without him. It was OUR wedding day, yet we spent over half the day separated. If I could go back, 2019 Kelly Ginn would shake 2011 Kelly Ginn until she was blue in the face. I would spend every second of my wedding day with John.
- 2. I can’t speak for all photographers, but I know a lot of them would agree with me when I say- You’ll actually get more photos of just the two of you if you do a first look. Why? Because you are less rushed and you actually have more time to spend on couple portraits. More time means more variety in photos, i.e. you can utilize all the gorgeous locations your venue has to offer because you have the time to do so. If you were to compare a full wedding gallery of a couple whose wedding I shot that did a first look, and a gallery of a couple whose wedding I shot that did not do a first look, the couple that did, WILL receive more photos. It’s an additional event that was documented.
- 3. (This one is super important) For brides who are getting married in the colder months (think time change, when the days are shorter) You can still have an evening ceremony *IF* you do a first look, because all of your photos can be planned to be completed before the ceremony starts, since you won’t need daylight after your ceremony is over. Can you give us an example of what you mean? Yes, of course: Let’s say you’re thinking you are wanting to get married in late October. On October 26th of 2018, the sun set at 6:10 pm. If you wanted to have your ceremony at 5:30 (a common ceremony time) you would only have about 10 minutes left of daylight to complete the following portraits (assuming you didn’t do a first look): 1. couple with both sets of families separate (minimum of 2 sets) 2. bridal party all together, combined. 3. couple portraits (bride + groom, bride + bride, or groom + groom) which is our biggest priority and where we spend the biggest chunk of time. I can speak for ALL photographers when I say, those three sets of portraits cannot be done WELL in 10 minutes, because there simply won’t be enough available light. So doing a first look can allow you to still have an evening ceremony, even when the days are shorter and even during the time change months
- 4. A first look can calm nerves and relax you so that you’re able to actually enjoy your entire day, not just the last four hours of it. I’ve seen grooms be so nervous minutes before the ceremony (because they didn’t do a first look) that they had zero reaction as they watched their partner walk down the aisle. 200+ eyes all on you can be a bit overwhelming, and they can’t always react the way they want to because their bodies are in shock.
- 5. If your goal is to get as many photos done before the ceremony, so that you can enjoy your reception, a first look is your answer. There are times when our couples decide to do a first look, that they don’t have to take a single photo after the ceremony, because we got them all done before the ceremony started. Other times we just have to spend 10-20 minutes max doing extended family photos after the ceremony. If you don’t do a first look, you can spend up to an HOUR’s worth of time (maybe more) finishing up the photos that couldn’t have been taken before.
Hey Kelly, thanks for your input on a first look, but could we hear from a bride who ISN’T a photographer? Duh.
Emily, a past bride of ours didn’t do a first look and regrets her decision. Here’s what she has to say:
“I decided not to do a first look with Reagan because I wanted to be traditional and see him for the first time as I walked down the aisle. Looking back on it now, the moment was so overwhelming, and while I wanted a sweet reaction from my future husband as I walked down the aisle, all I could see was him mouthing “I will not cry I will not cry” over and over. It’s a very vulnerable moment and unfortunately we had to share it with 400+ of our closest friends and family (LOL). We didn’t get to feel all of the emotions and have true reactions that we could’ve had if the moment was shared between the two of us!
I did do a first look with my dad though, and it’s was one of the most special moments of my life. I will forever hold onto his face and that moment we shared. I loved it so much and it always makes me think “what if” I would’ve done the same with Reagan.”
Don’t worry, I have more thoughts and advice from REAL brides.
Though I didn’t photograph Chelsea’s wedding she messaged me her thoughts on how her biggest regret was not doing a first look:
My husband, Joe has the reputation of being a “jock”. He’s a gym junkie, former minor league baseball player, and all around athlete kind of guy. He’s SO sweet and sensitive, and he isn’t afraid to show it. I thought, “let’s not ruin the magic of my walk down the aisle with posey photos that feel less than authentic.” Unfortunately our experience was just the opposite. I thought for sure I’d have a crier on my hands. (I’m not the one to cry in front of people) but due to his nerves and his deep fear of sounding stupid by repeating his vows wrong, he basically froze when I walked down the aisle. I ended up being the crier. The pressure of being up there with all eyes on us totally got to him. We immediately took photos in the field across the street from the venue after the ceremony and they were so beautiful, but I always regret not having photos of him seeing me in my dress for the first time without 150 pairs of eyes on him. MY. BIGGEST. REGRET! It still pains me nearly 7 years later.
Don’t think for one second that I am done. I have more advice/thoughts from other brides.
I didn’t photograph Riley’s wedding, but she was kind and honest enough to tell me her thoughts on first looks, and how she wishes she would have done one:
“We did not do a first look and I kind of wish we did. My husband is very traditional and did not want to see me before the wedding (totally fine), but we had to rush and take all of our pictures after the wedding. Our wedding started at 6 and we did not enter the reception until 8. As we were eating inside the house, I saw some of our guests leaving and I didn’t even have a chance to say hello or thank them for coming!! I wish we would’ve done a first look and did most of our bride & groom photos beforehand. A few more at the golden hour is still nice, and then you’re back with your guests. I recommend first looks to all of my friends!”
And of course, I want to provide you with the perspective of brides who DID do a first look, that recommend it:
Mekenzie and Seth, a past couple of ours, DID do a first look and here are her thoughts on it:
FIRST LOOKS ARE SO IMPORTANT. If you think it makes you lose any special- emotional- walk down the aisle- moments…. My groom didn’t cry during our first look, and cried like a baby when I walked down the aisle. AND *IF* you do a first look, you have a whole set of photos of the two of you seeing each other for the first time on the most special day.
Lastly, I have Lacey, a past bride of ours who also has thoughts on a first look and why she is so glad she and Andrew did one:
First looks are the best! It’s so nice to have that moment with just you and your future husband without everyone there watching you. The moment you have waited and planned for when they see you for the first time is priceless!
Here’s the deal. I can only speak for myself as a past bride and a photographer. My views don’t represent every other photographers, which is why I included five different bride’s direct quotes/ thoughts on first looks. Honestly, the decision to do a first look is YOURS, and yours only. As a photographer, I feel it is my job to educate you and inform you on what a wedding day timeline looks like with and without a first look. What you do with the information I give you as a professional, is entirely up to you. John and I respect your informed choice, regardless.